Satire/Rosie Sorenson

In This Corner …

Marjorie Taylor Greene, the blond MAGA Goddess from Georgia, the FanGirl of Q-Anon, the spreader of conspiracy theories about Jewish space lasers and Democrat pedophile rings, to name a few, has gotten her knickers in a twist after having finally met her match in Laura Loomer.

Who knew that God could create someone even loonier than MTG? What a sense of humor, that old guy (or gal) has.

Loony Loomer emerged from the primordial ooze of lies, hate and self-aggrandizement to meet her match in Donald Trump. Once kicked off Twitter because of her endless conspiracy theories, including lies about COVID vaccines and accusations that 911 was an “inside job,” she was welcomed into the warm embrace of Elon Musk when he bought Twitter and transmogrified it into a free-for-all-free-speech zone, X.

Oh, what terrifying babies they could make!

One has to wonder at what point did Loomer wake up of a morning and decide, “I’m gonna become a thoroughly disgusting waste of human flesh who wants nothing more than to gain ATTENTION for spewing tanker cars full of lies.”

Loomer, who has expressed her love for Trump, now travels with him to his rallies, whispering in his eager ears about Haitians in Ohio eating cats, dogs—everyone’s pets. Trump apparently bought into these lies or maybe just decided he could sell them to his useful idiots, not knowing what an idiot he would make of himself on television when he screamed at ABC debate moderator, David Muir, as David corrected him in real time with factual information from the Mayor of Springfield, Ohio.

David to Trump: “Mayor Rob Rue said, and I quote, ‘There were no such things going on in my town.’”

“No,” cried Trump, red-faced.” I heard it on television—people saying, ‘They ate my pet.’ It’s horrible!”

Loony Loomer snarked one day on X that should Kamala Harris—whose heritage is Black and Indian—win the election,“The White House will smell like curry, and White House speeches will be facilitated via a Call Center.”

Marjorie Taylor Greene fired back: “This is appalling and extremely racist. It does not represent who we are as Republicans or MAGA. This does not represent President Trump. This type of behavior should not be tolerated ever.”

This from a woman who once encouraged the execution of President Obama and Speaker Nancy Pelosi, crying, “Let the hangings begin!”

Whereupon, last-word Loomer snickered and said: “I knew Marjorie had lost her edge when I saw her at a Congressional hearing making fun of Congresswoman Jasmine Crockett’s eyelashes. All Marjorie accomplished with her little stunt was to propel that bitch to the Big Show. Now the skank is everywhere, all the time, with the liberal talking heads. Marjorie is so last decade.”

Marjorie has been overheard crying. “Waaa, waaa, I wanna be on that plane and whisper sweet crap into Trump’s ears. My crap is better than her crap any day of the week and twice on Sundays. I thought Trump loved me best. After all the sh*t I have spewed on his behalf and he goes and dumps me for Loomer?!? What a putz!! I’ll show him!!!

“Maybe I’ll just go over to the dark side like Dick Cheney and all of Trump’s past Generals and campaign for that KaMabala bitch. That’ll fix him.”

Rosie Sorenson is a humor writer in the San Francisco Bay Area. Her column is satire and, like Fox “News,” cannot be believed as fact. Email RosieSorenson29@yahoo.com. See RosieSorenson.com

From The Progressive Populist, November 1, 2024


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